David Logan's description of Tribal stages at the TED conference really struck a chord with me. I won't rehash everything that he says - because the video above is really an amazing summary of his very well-elucidated points. I will, however, add some things about cultural development.
| Stage | Signature Motto | Depth |
|---|---|---|
| Stage 1 | Life Sucks | 2% |
| Because life in general sucks, people spend most of their time feeling a constant struggle to survive. This is the culture of street gangs and prisons - and is full of despairing hostility. | ||
| Stage 2 | My Life Sucks | 25% |
| At least there are some people for whom life isn't completely abysmal. Cultures with this attitude live in a constant state of self-deprecation and self-pity, and most social interaction revolves around co-commiserating. | ||
| Stage 3 | I'm Awesome, but You Suck | 48% |
| The stereotypical culture of the highly intelligent professional, full of his or her own worth and doubting that the rest of the world has anything significant to offer. People here spend most of their time in cockiness, condescension and competition. | ||
| Stage 4 | We're Awesome, but Everyone Else Sucks | 22% |
| The culture of truly amazing organizations, such as Google, Zappo's, SouthWest Airlines and Trader Joe's. The tribe, as a whole, has a united identity, and stands out eagerly from the rest of the world. | ||
| Stage 5 | Life is Beautiful | 2% |
| Stage 5 tribes let go of the need to judge - and are universally accepting. They believe that life is beautiful, that all people are equal and valuable, and that differing opinions should be cherished rather than belittled, for we are all on the same journey, together. | ||
It is important always to remember that these stages describe tribes, not people. A person isn't a "Stage 2 Person" - though they may be a member of a Stage 2 Tribe. What we perceive as a "Stage 2 Person" is actually just a person who, if you average their time spent in the various tribes they relate to, averages out to a Stage 2 experience. In other words, this may be someone who has a Stage 3 family tribe and a Stage 1 social tribe (living in an impoverished neighborhood, perhaps).
If the person spends 8 hours a day with their social tribe and 8 hours a day with their family, they are likely to average out to having a Stage 2 personality in both, though relate to each group in that social context.
This becomes interesting when you consider what happens for a person who starts spending a lot of time in a new tribe. Consider a person who spends most of their time in a Stage 2 family tribe - where their spouse and children have a model of constantly complaining about how badly their life sucks. The person has a work life which is at Stage 3 - a highly educated professional setting, perhaps - where most of their social time is spent in one-upmanship and competitiveness. Now imagine the impact of this person joining a new social club which operates at Stage 5.
As the influence of the Stage 5 model begins to take hold within the person's experience, it sheds light on the stark differences between that social dynamic and their home and work lives. The unconditional acceptance of the Stage 5 tribe becomes a place of solace and re-energization which they may want to bring co-workers or family members to. The community becomes a beacon of joy - which the new member wants to share.
Similarly, imagine the same person beginning to attend hate rallies. As the Stage 1 tribal mentality takes hold, the despairing hostility will spread itself into the family unit and the work life. Hateful jokes and comments find their way into conversation and slowly degrade other tribes. Because of the identification that the person has with other hate-ists, they may still want to bring friends and family, to show them the "right way" and "disillusion them" about the minorities which are so "oppressive."
Clearly, there is an opportunity here for Lightworkers, or anyone else, with a desire to build Stage 5 tribes - but how do you help your tribe to develop Stage 5 attributes, and help new members who may not be used to operating at Stage 5 to get there?
There are two stages:
- There must be a leader or a sub-tribe which acts as a leader which holds the space for the belief that "Life is Beautiful" - and embodies that truth in their actions.
- Help tribe members to move up one stage at a time, by asking them to teach one level below them to achieve one level above them. In other words - if you have a member who generally acts in a way which demonstrates the "I'm great and you suck" mentality of Stage 3, ask them to mentor one or more people who believe "My life sucks" (Stage 2), and teach them about the idea that "We're great, but everyone else sucks" (Stage 4).
Incidentally - this also gives us an interesting ability to make real impact on a personal level. Take a moment and think about what stage you find yourself operating within a given tribe... then start thinking about how you would teach one of your tribemates about the values of the next stage up. You may be surprised at the results you achieve in your own life - and the bonding which can occur as you create a sub-tribe together.
One last thought, then - about sub-tribes.
In any tribe, but especially one which is forming, there are likely to be multiple sub-tribes. The important thing to remember, however, is that it is actually the higher stage tribes which are the sub-tribes. As an example:
Imagine a family of 5 which contains a father and mother, an 18 year old daughter, a 16 year old son, and a 12 year old son. The father and 18 year old daughter have a close relationship, and spend a lot of time running together because she runs Track and he is training for a marathon. Both of them genuinely believe that Life is Beautiful, and therefore their relationship operates at a Stage 5 level.
The mother is former teacher and housewife - who left the teaching profession because she got burned out. She genuinely believes that her family is wonderful - but that most other families around "suck" - because of bad experiences in the public school system. Her relationship with the family operates at Stage 4.
The 16 year old son is a football player, and gets a lot of attention at school because of his impressive athletic ability. Unfortunately, this has made him pretty arrogant - and he definitely believes he knows a lot more than the parents who just don't "get him." His relationship with the family operates at Stage 3.
Finally - the 12 year old son, just entering puberty, is having a very rough time at school. He is the target of a couple of bullies, his voice is in the process of changing and his general attitude is "My life sucks!"
This is a very typical family - and it operates at 4 out of the 5 levels. So how do we help the 12 year old to cope? By asking his 16 year-old brother to teach him about how wonderful our family is - and stand up for him at school. In other words - engage the boy acting at Stage 3 to teach the boy acting at Stage 2 how to understand Stage 4. What is likely to happen?
The 16 year-old, if he takes the quest seriously, will go and tell the bullies to leave his brother alone (hopefully without being a bully himself!) This reinforces to the 12 year-old that his family is wonderful - and that demonstrates personal value and worth as well. Hopefully this sparks the beginning of a movement toward "I'm great, but you (the bullies) suck!" - which is not perfect, but a definite improvement. The 16 year-old, simultaneously, operates in a mode of "We're great, but everyone else sucks!" by acting out the principle that "nobody messes with my family!" - a Stage 4 principle.
And who is the best person to teach the 16 year-old this lesson? The mother. She already believes in Stage 4 - and by asking her older son to look out for the younger son from the perspective that "Life is beautiful - please help him see that" (teaching a Stage 5 principle), she is able to start operating at Stage 5.
This is powerful. It means that any person in any tribe anywhere in the world can start to make a massive shift - simply by moving to teach someone else about the level above which they themselves are currently operating within that tribe.
I'll be writing much more on this topic in the near future - as we are currently developing a new tribe of our own, called a "Mingler" - a Stage 5 test-case in social dynamics and the intentional development of a best-friends network. I'm very excited - and I'll keep you posted!
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